Selfish isn’t a bad word

Being selfish isn’t bad.

Take a minute to let that sentence sink in.

Selfishness has such a negative connotation. And for people pleasers and women especially, feeling selfish can cause great stress and anxiety. What does it mean about me as a person if I’m selfish? Honestly, probably nothing bad.

I’m not talking about selfishness to the harm and detriment of others. However, selfishness in being able to say “no”, cancel plans, or ignore a call says nothing bad about you as a person. It simply says you are taking care of yourself and putting your well-being on the same level you place the well-being of others.

This can feel really uncomfortable in the beginning. Not responding to a text right away, going on a vacation, or taking a PTO day for no reason can seem impossible or at the very least inconsiderate. It takes time and practice to shift your mindset to start to internalize these actions as things you deserve…..not things you have to apologize for.

If it feels impossible, take it one step at a time. Say “no” to one thing this week. Wait 5 minutes before responding to a non-urgent text or call. Take a day off this month and don’t give more of a reason than you have to. These things aren’t against the rules, even if we feel like they are. Being selfish isn’t bad. Done well, it can be liberating and help you find balance between taking care of you and being there for others. Take back the word and help yourself realize that you matter too.